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I have been reading Savage Love for years in Internazionale. Increasingly Tormented About Lesbian Yearnings There's a lot going on in your letter, ITALY, so I'm going to take your questions one at a time... Maybe you always fall in love with lesbians or maybe this was a series of coincidences—by pure chance you fell for more than one woman who turned out to be a lesbian—and, hey, since you're probably going to love a few more women over the course of your life, ITALY, that "always" seems a bit premature.Is that so terrible that you have to get little digs in every week?That's the problem with you liberals—you're a bunch of wimps. Make America Strong Again Gee, I don't recall any whining from you right-wing he-men back when a black guy who didn't collude with a hostile foreign power and wasn't poisoning our air and water and didn't undermine our Democratic norms and wasn't surrounded by a cadre of deeply corrupt sycophants was president—you guys were so stoic during the Obama years, so he-manly.The last three girls who fit this description all turned out to be lesbians. I am afraid that one day she is going to tell me she's gay too. But while almost all effeminate guys are gay—so stigmatized is femininity in males (even in the gay community)—masculine swagger in women is less stigmatized and therefore somewhat less likely to correlate as strongly with lesbianism.The last girl with whom this happened told me it was my "Red Cross" mind-set that made me fall in love with girls who are insecure/sad/melancholy, so I have a sort of selection bias that excludes most straight girls I meet. She always talks with me about a new super-cute female friend. I have recently met another girl, super empathetic. Women with masculine swagger and men with feminine swagger are also likely to be self-conscious about their gender-nonconforming traits, particularly when they're young and/or not yet out, and that can read as melancholy and/or insecurity. Women—straight or bi or lesbian—don't need "saving." They need respect, they need to be taken seriously, they need bodily autonomy, and they need loving partners and political allies. Your girlfriend may be a lesbian—anyone could in these highly fluid days, even me.